Support Us

How Do I Explain Adoption to My Young Child?

We began our adoption journey a little more than six months ago, when our biological son Moses was three and a half years old. A couple months into the process, our social worker came over for our final in-person home study visit (the very last step to complete our home study with the state). The doorbell rang and I welcomed Sandy in. Moses came running down the stairs from his room with arms open to give her a big hug and blurted out, "I'm so excited to meet my new brother or sister, Miss Sandy!" Spencer and I about died laughing.

My husband and I spent nearly two years trying to conceive before deciding to pursue adoption. Throughout this time, Moses would frequently ask about being a brother. It broke our hearts that we couldn’t make him one. We went through countless infertility treatments over the course of eight months or so, and after our final failed treatment, we decided to discontinue the medical interventions and open our mind to what God had put on our hearts long ago—adoption.

When we realized that we would not actually be able to physically bring a sibling into the world for Moses, we began to think about the ways that we could explain adoption to him. Because he is so young and his heart is still fragile, this was very important to us. The way that we described adoption to Moses at this moment would forever shape the way that he viewed his brother or sister in the future. Would he think of them differently because things didn’t happen the conventional way that he’s seen in other families? Would he think this baby is less special because it was adopted? We never wanted any of these things to happen, so we knew it was super important that we shape this in light of God’s love.

It became time to fill Moses in on what was happening in our hearts and in our family, and honestly we simplified adoption to its fundamental root. We are adopting because we feel like it’s what God has called us to in this season of life. Although this may be a trying experience at times, we are confident that He will fulfill the promise He has already spoken over us. So, we simply told Moses that God was bringing him a brother or sister and that he was finally going to be a big brother. This may seem simple and overrated, but it’s what is going to happen! When he’s so young, simple is best. After all, it didn’t take long for him to begin telling anyone who would listen! His excitement has truly filled our family with even more joy than we could ever imagine.

We are currently waiting to be matched with an expectant mom. The wait is so hard on all of us, but we know that God is writing a better story than we ever could. He continues to stretch our faith and deepen our expectations of what is yet to come. Moses is going to be an amazing big brother someday, and I can’t wait to hear him tell the story of how God answered his prayers and finally made him a brother.

What are some ways that you’ve explained adoption to your children, especially younger ones? Are there any helpful resources that you’ve looked to, books you’ve read them, or Scripture you’ve looked to for guidance? Let us know in the comment section of this post!

 

* Post contributed by current client, Emily Monson

You can follow along with Spencer, Emily, and Moses as they continue their adoption journey, by clicking here!

Finding Purpose in Failure

Finding Purpose in Failure

The adoption journey is never an easy one, no matter what happens along the way.  Someone’s heart will break. There will be many tears shed. There is anxiety around every corner. However, every single second that you are experiencing the pain, doubt, and fear that come along with the process, know there is a purpose behind it all. God has a beautiful path for you to follow to your son or daughter—you just have to trust it.

The Beauty of Open Adoption

The Beauty of Open Adoption

Can we talk about open adoption for a few minutes? More often than not, when I mention to someone that we have an open adoption with our son, Oliver’s, birth mom, I am met with a look of complete fear staring back at me. Whether I am talking to a hopeful adoptive couple, one of my family members, friends, or just a random stranger, as I begin to explain our relationship with our birth mom people look at me like there is an actual UFO hovering above my head. I am not that crazy, people! Most of the time it boils down to the fact that these people don’t really understand how open adoption works and what it looks like on a day-to-day basis. If this is you sweet friend, it is completely ok. I would love to help you replace your fears with the reality of what open adoption looks like—if you will meet me here with an open mind...

One Step Closer

One Step Closer

Our adoption journey started as many others do.  A year of trying to get pregnant, a visit to the fertility specialist, multiple procedures, a miscarriage, the decision to stop trying, taking some time for ourselves.  Then, the inevitable happened...we still desperately wanted to become parents.  So, we began another chapter in our lives, this time determined that God had big plans in store for us...

Waiting On The Rain

Sometimes I feel so silly as I prepare for our future baby. We are putting up a crib, buying things, doing fundraisers- all because we believe in God's promise to give us a child. I've compared this to feeling like Noah building the ark. He believed in God's promise of the coming flood and, in faith, he wanted to be ready. Were there times when he looked at this huge boat on dry land and thought, "What am I doing?" Or, as he shuffled his animals onboard two by two, did he say, "Please, God, help me to understand your plan." Or did he just keep faithfully working, knowing that God follows through on His promises? This nursery is our ark. Every diaper, every bib, every tiny sock is a sign of our faithfulness. We believe that God has hand selected a baby just for us. So, here we are, friends. Just waiting on the rain. 

*Post contributed by previous client, Jessica Donnahoo.